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Hot Parenting Topic of the Month STOPPING THE BEDTIME BATTLE For all Parents who have read countless books, made up hundreds of stories, and served galloons of "drinks of water" while trying to put their kids to bed--read this excerpt from Parenting Power in the Early Years, by Brenda Nixon -- professional speaker, writer and Parenting Expert. (You are not alone!) Bedtime Resistance Remedy If you haven’t been frazzled by a preschooler who resists going to bed, you’re probably not a parent. My younger daughter, Laura, was the Queen of Stall. I defined bedtime as being in bed--with both legs--and lights out. Laura defined it as a time to begin getting ready for going to bed. And while getting ready, she’d suddenly get an attack of janitoritis and clean her room, neatly fold clothes that had lain under the bed for days, or organize her stuffed animals. Once in bed, she’d jump up with, "I want a drink," or "I forgot to brush my teeth," or the most famous, "I got a kingernail," (fingernail) which one of us would have to clip before she could relax into slumber. My husband or I would holler, "Go to bed!" a dozen times every night. With all my education in child development, the mother in me still fell prey to my daughter’s manipulation. But preschoolers need 11-12 hours total sleep in a 24-hour cycle. That can include a nap. Half of all preschoolers still need a daily nap. When they are rested they have more energy to grow and learn. So, even if my heart said, "Let her stay up," my head said, "Get her in bed and keep her there." Parenting power is knowing something and putting it into practice. What did my husband and I do? Laura loved going to sleep with the hallway light shining into her room. So we bought a dimmer switch and installed it in her bedroom. Then we explained that instead of the hallway light she could dim the bedroom light to go to sleep. We told her she could control the level of darkness in her room only if she went to bed on time and stayed there. Then we added, "If you get out of bed, we turn off the light." Of course the first night she had to challenge our word--and the light was turned off. The second night the dimmer switch was lowered once. The third night, Laura went to bed quickly and stayed there. For a long time all we had to remind was, "Stay in bed or I’m turning off the light." We used something important to our daughter so she’d be more committed to changing her behavior. Then, a couple of years later Laura jumped up several times at bedtime. Returning to our same strategy, we determined what mattered to her. This time it was money... When she stayed in bed, she kept her allowance. If she got out of bed, she lost a quarter--big money in those days. My heart said I was a thief stealing a little girl’s money! My head said, "Stick to your word and you’ll prevent similar challenges to your authority." My head was right. You don’t have to be angry to be effective. Instead, remember this remedy for bedtime resistance: Determine what works with your child. Help your child gain the independence and ability to sleep alone. Stick with your rule. Brenda Nixon Author, Parenting Power To learn more about author, Brenda Nixon, click here. To learn more about her insightful, easy-to-read book, Parenting Power in the Early Years, click here.		Parenting Topic of the Month

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